Governor Arnold
by PenPatronus
Summary: Dive and Wing discuss their governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger.


**Author's Notes and Disclaimer:** I don't own the Ducks and I have nothing to do with Arnold Schwarzenegger, obviously. I wrote this story under another penname on October 17th 2003, right after Mr. Schwarzenegger's original election as the governor of California, and I didn't plan on re-posting it right after his re-election but, you know, that's what happens. The story has not been modified in anyway. And if you do (or don't, especially) like it, please review!

**Governor Arnold**  
By: PenPatronus

Wildwing sauntered into the Rec Room and just about died prematurely from shock. Luckily, his leadership experience and crisis training instinctively kicked in. With an impressive summersault, the team captain was instantly across the room with his pucklauncher cocked and aimed at the intruder on the couch.

With a slow blink, his brother elevated his arms straight into the air, a half-eaten taco hanging from his beak, "Umph, I schurrender?"

"Can it, Chameleon, morph back before I'm forced to shoot my own brother. And believe me, it won't be as hard as you think!"

Nosedive swallowed and snapped his fingers in front of his sibling's eyes. "Wing, what's gotten in to you? It's me!"

"Prove it!"

"You're a maniac!"

"What was the last prank you pulled on Mallory?"

"I deactivated the 'foosh'-controls on her door!"

"Wrong! Last night Dive switched Mal's underwear drawer with Duke's." Wing leveled the gun with Dive's beak.

"Wing, you insult me! As if I wouldn't have a new prank by this morning? Any moment now Mal's going to barge in here with a bruised beak! And it was Grin's underwear drawer! Do you have any idea what size that guy wears?"

Wildwing hesitated, blinked suspiciously, and lowered his launcher. Still confused, he pivoted around, glanced at what Dive had on the TV, and sighed, "Seriously, who are you and what have you done with my little brother?"

"Wing, would you scoot over? I'm trying to watch."

"Dive, you do realize that's CNN, right? News, Dive, boring news. Not cartoons. You're watching politics!"

"No, I'm watching Arnold."

Wildwing flopped down on the couch, "Who?"

"Arnold, Arnold Schwarzenegger? You know, the Terminator, Kindergarten Cop, Batman and Robin, 'Asta Lavista, baby, I'll be back!'?" No recognition, "Amazonian tribes know more about American pop culture than you do, Wing, and you live here!"

Nosedive's big brother folded his arms to his chest, at a loss, "So why is an actor on CNN?"

"He's officially the governor of our beloved home state of California. As a matter of fact, he'll be in Anaheim next week doing some public relations gig. Our game might not be sold out for once!"

"Ducaine forbid. Since when are actors involved with politics?"

"Since when do alien ducks play hockey? It's Hollywood, Wing. California isn't a state, it's a circus. And this time, we're not the freak show."

Wildwing frowned, not diverting his eyes from the scene. He scratched his chin, "You think he's a hockey fan? I don't want the FBI barging in here because our new governor thinks us aliens should be experimented with on his watch."

His brother didn't reply. Nosedive was squinting at the TV as if in profound reflection. Wing didn't know which was worse: his brother watching the news or having deep thoughts. Nothing good could possibly come from either. Suddenly Nosedive changed the subject.

"You know, I think we should be allowed to vote. We've been here long enough; if we were human we'd be legal by now."

Wing slapped his forehead, "Now I know you're not my brother. Since when do you care about anything other than comics and the increasing prices of tacos?"

"Hey! The cost of a triple spicy has gone up like 15 in just the past couple of years! It's a crime I tell you!"

"You do realize you just used the word "percent" in a sentence, right?"

"I think Tanya's rubbing off on me."

"And who would you vote for if you could, Dive?"

"Arnold, duh! He's a movie star; he's got to know what he's doing, right? If anyone can get fast food prices down, it's him! He'll be the salvation of our economy in no time."

"You do realize you just used the word "economy" in a sentence, right?"

The Flashblades were silent for a few moments as they watched replays of the California recall as if scrutinizing their own hockey tapes. When the cameras finally shifted away from Arnold, Nosedive broke the silence.

"By the way, big bro, why exactly would it be easy to blast me with a pucklauncher? Wing, where are you going? Hey, get back here! Wing!"

Wild was in mid-dash out the door when he collided with Mallory. The poor girl had an ice pack rubber-banded around her beak and a murderous look in her eyes that practically made her hair glow its red color. "NOSEDIVE!!!"

Nosedive managed to dart around the female duck when she hesitated while trying to evade Wildwing. Mallory went to grab him but couldn't see past the ice pack. She screeched with fury as Dive's cocky voice echoed across the Pond,

"I'll be back!"

**The End**


End file.
